List of Father Ted characters


Father Ted is a sitcom produced by independent production company Hat Trick Productions for British broadcaster Channel 4. Its three series, comprising 25 episodes and a special, originally aired from 21 April 1995 to 1 May 1998. Its main characters, Father Ted Crilly and his fellow priests Father Dougal McGuire and Father Jack Hackett, were exiled to Craggy Island, where they lived with the fourth main character, housekeeper Mrs Doyle. All four actors appeared from its first episode, "Good Luck, Father Ted", to its last, "Going to America". Pauline McLynn also played a nun in the episode "Flight Into Terror", in which Mrs Doyle appears only briefly.

Main characters

Father Ted Crilly

Father Ted Crilly, played by Dermot Morgan, is a morally dubious Roman Catholic priest exiled to Craggy Island under suspicion of stealing money intended to fund a child's pilgrimage to Lourdes and using it to pay for his own trip to Las Vegas. He is later transferred to a comfortable Dublin parish, only to soon be sent straight back to Craggy Island after a church accountant discovers irregularities in his church expenses claims.

Father Dougal McGuire

Father Dougal McGuire, played by Ardal O'Hanlon, is a childlike, simpleminded Catholic priest exiled as punishment for unknown misdeeds. It is unclear how he entered the priesthood.

Father Jack Hackett

Father Jack Hackett, played by Frank Kelly, is an elderly, foul-mouthed, alcoholic priest whose vocabulary consists largely of the shouted words "feck!", "arse!", "drink!" and "girls!". He usually shouts whenever he speaks, although he speaks in a much calmer tone when offered alcohol. He is also capable of identifying a bottle of wine, as well as its vintage, just from the sound of the bottle clinking. While it is never explicitly stated why Bishop Brennan has condemned him to Craggy Island, in the episode "The Passion of Saint Tibulus" it is implied that it has something to do with a wedding ceremony Jack performed in Athlone. In "Tentacles of Doom", with the promise of more "drink", Ted trains Jack to say "That would be an ecumenical matter!" and "Yes!" so that he may convincingly circumvent any questions put to him by a party of visiting bishops. Jack has a fear of nuns; in "Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading", upon seeing Sister Assumpta and learning that she is a nun, he runs screaming out of the window. He regards the sick and poor with contempt, referring to them as a "shower of bastards". It is later revealed, in his will, that he saved up £500,000, which Ted attributes partly to Jack's "never giving money to charity" and that "he wouldn't wear trousers during the summer".
Jack can be aggressive. For example, in "The Passion of St Tibulus", when Bishop Brennan wakes him up, Jack punches him in the face while shouting "Feck off!", while in the episode "The Mainland", Jack is arrested for punching a man he had met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting earlier that evening, after the man saw him in a bar and tried to stop him from drinking. He is also shown to have a habit of destroying the television by throwing bottles containing alcohol at it and blowing it up, leading to Ted telling Dougal not to turn the television on when Jack is sleeping in the room.
Although an alcoholic, Jack's drinking is not limited to alcohol, as he will drink almost any liquid he can get his hands on. This includes Toilet Duck, floor polish, brake fluid, anointing oil, Harpic and Windolene, but not water, which he despises. He also dislikes tea; when Mrs Doyle offers him a cup of tea and asks him "And what do you say to a cup?", he replies "Feck off, cup!" and moments later throws the cup in the direction of her head; it hits the door.
Jack has very bad personal hygiene. This is evident from his unkempt hair, scabs near his mouth, stains on his clerical collar and decaying teeth. His chair also has a large stain behind his head. Ted once panicked when the time of the year for Jack's bath was approaching. Jack also has a variety of smells, including vegetables, which attracted rabbits in the episode "The Plague". Jack once locked Father Jessup in his underpants hamper, where Jessup was tormented by the extreme smell. Mrs Doyle wears a helmet when clipping Jack's nails, as does everyone else in the room.
Jack is usually in his chair, often sleeping, and is rarely active. In the episode "Escape from Victory", it emerges that Jack slept for 14 days straight after drinking a whole bottle of an alcoholic sleeping aid known as "Dreamy Sleepy Nightie Snoozy Snooze", which is banned in most European countries. When he has to be brought out of his chair, he usually has to be put in a wheelchair, which is generally pushed by someone else. He has a walking stick with him when he is in his chair, although he is able to walk without it.
Jack is prone to hearing loss caused by a build-up of wax in his ears, which the other priests use to make candles. However, he is shown to be able to hear just fine when Ted offers him a glass of brandy. He also has a cataract in his left eye.
In the episode "Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading", Ted observes that Jack has not been properly sober for 12 years. When he briefly awakens from his drunken state, Ted having made him give up alcohol for Lent, he is startled to find that Dougal and Ted are the only ones in the room with him, demanding, "Where are the other two?" suggesting he usually sees double. Soon afterwards, he realises to his horror that he is "still on that feckin' island."
In "The Craggy Island Parish Magazines", it is stated that Father Jack served as chaplain to the fictional Paraguayan leader General Guillermo Paz for three years in the 1950s, until he left hours before Paz was hanged from a lemon tree by a group of peasants during an uprising. It is also stated that before he became a priest, Hackett had many varied careers, including captaining a ship.

Mrs Doyle

Mrs Doyle, played by Pauline McLynn, is the parish priests' housekeeper. Her first name is not mentioned on the show, but is given as Joan in the draft Competition Time script. Whenever a character speaks her first name, background noise suddenly erupts, masking whatever is being said. This gag was repeated in Tedfest 2007 when Graham Linehan was going to reveal her first name in a transmission but his voice was masked by the sound of breaking glass. In the DVD commentary with Arthur Matthews in the episode Old Grey Whistle Theft Linehan stated that they 'did have a name for Mrs Doyle'.
Mrs Doyle is a hyperactive, repressed and somewhat insane parish housekeeper with an over-the-top zeal for her work. Obsessed with refreshments, she is often to be found preparing copious amounts of tea, cake and sandwiches; she disdained an automated tea-making machine, stating that she "liked the misery" of making tea, and was devastated when Ted bought her one for Christmas. She eventually destroyed it and convinced Ted that she was the right person for making tea. She even stays up all night "just in case one of you needs a cup of tea!". Whenever Ted or somebody else refuses one of her beverages, sandwiches or cake, she urges them on for some time, usually just by repeating "go on, go on", until the offending priest or guest finally agrees just for the sake of some peace. Sometimes, she then denies them the offered item. In the episode Hell, when Ted finally gives in, she concludes that she is forcing him to have a cake, and tells him that he should "just say no", calling it a "word that Our Lord gave us to use when we didn't want any cake." She then proceeds to have the cakes destroyed.
Aside from simple domestic chores, Mrs Doyle also performs all the other tasks that need completing around the house, such as digging drainage ditches and mending the roof. In this respect, Ted takes advantage of her work ethic and treats her like a general dogsbody. She frequently suffers accidents while attending to these chores, such as falling off the roof, falling down the stairs and especially plummeting head-first out of the large window frame in the front room.
Little or nothing is known about her personal life except that she must have been married at some point and previously spoke of having a sister. She has a dim view of sex, once mentioning how thankful she is that "she never thinks about that sort of thing", and in this respect appears quite conservative. In "And God Created Woman", when she and Ted are discussing the work of novelist Polly Clarke, she laments how much swearing there is in modern fiction and goes on a rant about the amount of sex in Clarke's books. She also becomes spiteful, condescending and visibly jealous whenever another woman comes into the parochial house, especially those who are good-looking or command the attention of the priests. She has women friends on the island who appear sporadically throughout the series, and all look similar and speak in the same manner.
In the episode "The Mainland", she is arrested for getting into a fight in a tearoom.
Graham Linehan has stated that he always thought Mrs Doyle originally met Father Ted by winning the Lovely Girls competition.

Supporting characters

Bishop Brennan

Bishop Leonard Brennan appears from the episode "The Passion of St Tibulus" until the episode "Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse".
Bishop Brennan is a stern, overbearing, foul-mouthed, lecherous, hypocritical narcissist who despises Ted and frequently casts a shadow over the lowly priest's life. Throughout the series he consistently addresses Ted using his surname. He equally despises Dougal, whom he refers to as a "cabbage". He does not take kindly to Dougal calling him "Len", on one occasion shouting "You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!"
Brennan has also forsaken his vows of celibacy; in the episode "The Passion of St. Tibulus", it is revealed that Brennan has a secret partner and love child in America.
Bishop Brennan visits the island on three occasions. The first is when the blasphemous film The Passion of Saint Tibulus is being shown on the island. Ted and Dougal's earnest protest only attracts more attention to the film, with people flocking to the island to see it. Bishop Brennan vows to punish the three priests by exiling them elsewhere in the world, in places even worse than Craggy Island. However, the Bishop changes his mind off-screen when Jack finds a video tape containing footage of Brennan with what is presumed to be his long-rumoured son and girlfriend on holiday in California. It is implied that Ted used this footage to blackmail him.
Brennan makes his second visit to the island when Father Jack starts a habit of nude sleepwalking, which to Bishop Brennan's fury had been witnessed by an old and respected friend of his. During this visit, Ted goes to great lengths to conceal the presence of several rabbits in the parochial house from the Bishop, who has a fear of rabbits due to a traumatic past experience with rabbits in a lift.
Brennan's third visit is arranged when Ted has to pay a forfeit after cheating at a football match to Father Dick Byrne. Byrne chooses to make Ted kick the bishop "up the arse". To give Ted an opportunity to carry out the forfeit, Byrne calls the Bishop and tells him that his likeness has appeared in the skirting boards of the Craggy Island parochial house; ultimately, all the Bishop sees, just before Ted kicks him up the arse as hard as possible, is a crude watercolour painting of a man in a bishop's hat.
In a DVD audio commentary, Graham Linehan said that he considers Bishop Brennan to be the arch-enemy of Father Jack Hackett, because Jack had the potential to become a bishop, but failed, whereas Brennan had succeeded. Jack, whom Brennan refers to as "The Kraken", regards Brennan with contempt, often telling him to feck off, even punching him in the face, and being sarcastic when ordered to apologise for saying "Arse biscuits!" in front of the bishop.
Bishop Brennan is consistently addressed by other characters as "Your Grace," which is an unofficial salutation.

Father Dick Byrne

Father Dick Byrne is played by Maurice O'Donoghue. He appears in five episodes of the show, in "Competition Time"; "Song For Europe"; "Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading"; "Escape from Victory"; and "Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse". Dick is Ted's equivalent on nearby Rugged Island, and his bitter rival.
Ted's nemesis, Dick often manages to outwit Ted as part of their ongoing feud. It is unknown how the feud started, but Dougal once mentions a "Scrabble fiasco". The feud has led to various ill-judged escapades, usually after Dick has telephoned Ted to tease him for some inadequacy or taunt him for some fault. These include fooling him on the phone into thinking that Dick had sincerely believed Ted's Eurovision song would be good, and winning the annual "All-Priests Five-a-Side Over-75s Indoor Football Challenge Match." However, there are also instances where Ted gets the better of Dick. Ted mentions an occasion where Dick had lost a bet with him and that as a forfeit, he had had to say "bollocks" very loudly in front of the Irish President Mary Robinson. Ted also beats Dick in the Eurosong competition, despite Dick's song, 'The Miracle Is Mine', being given a standing ovation and being far superior to the Craggy Island effort. Ted states that he "really hates Father Dick Byrne!"
In the 2010 Channel 4 retrospective 'Small, Far Away – The World of Father Ted', Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews say – perhaps seriously or possibly in jest – that Maurice O'Donoghue and the rest of the Rugged Island cast were each their second choices to play the main characters on the show.

Father Noel Furlong

Father Noel Furlong is played by Graham Norton. He appears in three episodes of the show, in "Hell" and "Flight Into Terror" in series 2; and in "The Mainland" in series 3.
Father Noel is a very annoying and hyperactive priest whom Ted and Dougal hate spending time with. He runs the St. Luke's Youth Group and is first encountered during Ted's abortive caravaning holiday in "Hell". Here he invades the peaceful surroundings of the priests' rented caravan and keeps them awake at night, singing songs and expressing his desire to tell ghost stories at six o'clock in the morning. He regales the helpless Ted and Dougal with tales of how members of the youth group have a habit of turning in "late" and succeeds in driving them out of their holiday home, which he then proceeds to tip over after having himself and the youth group perform a Riverdance routine inside it.
Father Noel turns up again in "Flight into Terror" leading Father Fay and Dougal into the cockpit of a plane. While there he inadvertently causes disaster when he allows Father Fay, who does not know he is a priest, but appears to believe himself to be a monkey, to see his reflection. Father Fay goes mad and jumps on the pilot sending the plane out of its path. The pilot screams at the watching Dougal to press the emergency button. The bumbling priest presses the wrong button, which results in one of the fuel tanks being emptied.
Noel's boundless energy results in him getting his group lost in the "Very Dark Caves" in "The Mainland", and, after performing a rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody", his attempts to start a "screeching competition" cause him to be buried under falling rocks, dislodged by the noise he is making. His very last scene features him under the rocks with his hand sticking out, still in a very happy mood. His youth group then abandon him and head to Paraguay on Aer Lingus flights. Ted tells an apparent rescue service man to save Noel, but the man turns out actually to be an uninterested dustman. In the short scene after the credits, Noel is still under the rocks, clicking his fingers and singing "Fat Bottomed Girls".

Minor characters

Father Larry Duff

Father Larry Duff, played by Tony Guilfoyle, is a friend of Ted's who always seems to be on the receiving end of some misfortune. The cause of these events is usually Ted calling him on his mobile phone. Examples of Larry's mishaps include driving off a cliff in his Ford Granada while looking for his ringing mobile, losing £10,000 in a TV gameshow when Ted interrupts his concentration by ringing him, getting hit while volunteering for a blind-folded knife throwing act, and being trampled by a herd of stampeding donkeys. Occasionally Ted manages to get through to him, only to be informed he will not be arriving at a picnic as he is being investigated for weapons smuggling by the Army or that he cannot accept Ted's offer of rabbits as he decided to get 12 rottweilers instead. Ted often mentions Larry as being "tremendous fun". He appears to be a good friend of Bishop Facks, who appears in "Tentacles of Doom". Despite his frequent injuries, he always returns unscathed in his next appearance. Though they are close friends, Ted and Larry are never seen together on screen in the entire three series. After his last appearance in A Christmassy Ted, Fr Duff's fate is unknown.
The character has been referenced in Spider-Man 2099, with a statue of Larry replacing that of Francis P. Duffy in a scene depicting Duffy Square.

Father Paul Stone

Father Paul Stone, played by Michael Redmond, is an exceedingly boring priest who featured in the episode "Entertaining Father Stone" and comes to stay at the parochial house every year. He is completely unable to hold a conversation and is more than happy just to sit and do/say nothing at all, giving one-sentence answers at best. He usually brushes off any attempted social interaction by saying something along the lines of "No. I'm fine". Despite his quiet persona, Father Stone's presence dominates those around him, leading to awkward and protracted silences which suck the life out of the room, ruining Ted's birthday party as a result. His unresponsiveness makes him practically impossible to get rid of, causing Ted and the others to go to great lengths just to avoid contact with him, such as going to bed extremely early or going out to the island's sub-standard crazy golf course in the pouring rain. When Ted prays to God with the intention of getting rid of Father Stone, he is subsequently struck by lightning after joining Ted and Dougal at the crazy golf course. He gets stuck in the same position as he was when he is struck, and surgeons are unable to remove the golf club from his hands, leading Dougal to comment: "He looks like a trophy". His grandmother and parents are alive and he is known to have one brother who is a doctor. It turns out that he hero-worships Ted and once drew a portrait of the two of them together.

Father Fintan Stack

Father Fintan Stack, played by Brendan Grace, is a truly appalling priest, and the main antagonist in the episode "New Jack City". He comes to the Parochial House as Father Jack's replacement when Jack contracts "hairy hands syndrome" and is sent to St Clabbert's. Father Stack is rude, obnoxious and destructive. His unpleasant habits, in which he engages solely for his own amusement, include:
Stack's visit is abruptly cut short when he too contracts Hairy Hands Syndrome from sitting in Jack's chair. This was discovered right as Jack was about to punch Stack out for going after his whiskey.
Ted concludes that Stack is worse than Hitler, because "you wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at three in the morning".

Father Austin Purcell

Father Austin Purcell played by Ben Keaton, features in the episode "Think Fast, Father Ted". He is "the most boring priest in the world", according to Ted. The entire population of a village in Nigeria once sailed to their deaths on a crocodile-infested lake to escape him. He talks constantly in an annoying high-pitched voice about the most trivial and irritating topics, including central heating, insurance and "favourite humming noises". His conversation includes describing painting a house orange and building extensions on an extension, concluding "the house is in a circle now". Ted has to physically restrain Father Jack from punching Father Austin. After Ted allows Father Jack to leave he cries out 'Thank Christ' and promptly locks Ted up with Father Austin in his place. He claims to have known a woman once, "but she died soon afterwards". Purcell keeps talking even when no one is listening, at one point striking up a conversation with a sofa embroidered with Jesus' face: "Ah, it's yourself!".
In 2014, Keaton returned to the role, performing a stand-up routine and hosting pub quizzes entirely in character. Keaton also set up a Twitter page for the character, and a website where fans can purchase customised Father Purcell video greetings. In 2015, Keaton began a spin-off web series, Cook Like a Priest.

Father "Todd Unctious"

Father "Todd Unctious", played by Gerard McSorley, appears in the episode "A Christmassy Ted". He turns up at the parochial house at Christmas claiming to be an old pal of Ted's; Ted has no recollection of Todd whatsoever. Ted is required to employ long-winded strategies to find out his name, without success. An attempt to get him to write his name fails, with Unctious claiming he once fell while running with scissors, completely severing the nerve that controls handwriting. Fortunately Mrs Doyle manages to guess his name in under an hour, after increasingly ridiculous wrong guesses. His behaviour disturbs Ted: he enjoys wandering around in nothing but his underpants, is not averse to showing Ted some of his more intimate scars, and likes shadow boxing. He turns out to be a thief who wants to steal Ted's "Golden Cleric" Award. It is also revealed at the end of the episode that Todd Unctious is not his real name.

Other priests