Twisted Christmas

Track listing

1. The Twelve Pains of Christmas
2. * Parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas". Sung as a normal Christmas carol, with each verse comedically recited by a participant in a painful or undesirable activity. Contrary to a viral internet rumor, Bob Rivers voices the Chester Rileyesque man "rigging up the lights," not noted Seinfeld actor Wayne Knight.
3. The Chimney Song
4. * Original song, sung by a young child. The song describes the ensuing months after Santa Claus gets stuck in someone's chimney.
5. We Wish You Weren't Living With Us
6. * Parody of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". Sung as a normal Christmas carol. About relatives who overstay their visit, becoming a nuisance to the host.
7. Wreck the Malls
8. * Parody of "Deck the Halls" performed as glam metal. About excessive Christmas shopping.
9. A Visit from St. Nicholson
10. * Parody of "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clark Moore, with Bob Rivers impersonatating actor Jack Nicholson appearing instead of St. Nicholas. Spoken-word piece with no music.
11. O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads
12. * Parody of "O Come All Ye Faithful" describing the Deadheads phenomenon. Sung as a normal Christmas carol.
13. I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa
14. * Parody of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas," performed in the western swing genre.
15. The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen"
16. * Parody of "God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen." Sung by an all-male a cappella chorus. The subject has apparently been subjected to a prank in which someone flipped the Men's and Ladies signs to the restroom.
17. Foreigners
18. * Parody of "Angels We Have Heard on High" in which highly stereotyped Russian, Mexican, and Italian immigrants describe their experiences in the United States.
19. Joy to the World
20. * Hard rock instrumental version of traditional song.
21. A Message from the King
22. * Spoken word piece by a gluttonous Elvis impersonator, purporting to be speaking from "Rock and Roll Heaven."