The Slammin' Salmon


The Slammin' Salmon is a 2009 comedy film by Broken Lizard. The film is about the owner of a restaurant initiating a contest to see which of his waiters can earn the most money in a single night, with a prize of $10,000. The loser receives a "beat down" by the owner, Cleon Salmon, a former heavyweight boxer. Kevin Heffernan directed the film; it was his first time directing a Broken Lizard film. Salmon was filmed in 25 days at the beginning of 2008.

Plot summary

In Miami, Florida, the sadistic and vacuous retired heavyweight boxing champion Cleon Salmon owns the critically acclaimed sports-themed restaurant The Slammin' Salmon. His staff comprises manager Rich, socially inept Nuts, callous Guy, pre-med Tara, ballet student Mia, bit player Connor, and chef Dave and his busboy twin brother Donnie. Cleon orders Rich to make $20,000 for the night to pay the yakuza, whom he owed said amount after losing a bet hunting albino in Japan; otherwise, the yakuza are going to take the restaurant. Cleon explains he is strapped for cash as he had just bought "some land on the moon next to John Travolta". Rich reluctantly agrees, horrified that refusing Cleon would result to him getting beat up and decapitated as what he had done to his dead boxing opponents.
Rich makes only $2,000 in the beginning of the shift, and notices his staff slacking at work. An hour and a half later, Rich incentivizes them with a "prize" of four-day, three-night stay at a resort hotel in Key Largo which he booked by imitating Cleon's intimidating voice via phone call. Although the staff profit from selling their expensive cod meal, Connor, Nuts and Mia all get into trouble while serving; Rich accidentally swallows an engagement ring buried into a brownie that belongs to Connor's table, Nuts begins acting strange while serving, and Mia suffers a first-degree burn after Guy slips and accidentally spills a hot soup onto her. Consequently, the ring's owner becomes livid, and Mia's burnt face affects her ability to coax male customers into buying their specialty.
Cleon is disappointed when the staff made only $12,000 for the last few hours, causing him to incentivize them with a cash prize of $10,000 for the top-selling waiter and a "broken rib sandwich" to whoever is in last place. When Rich argues that giving away $10,000 would be counterproductive to collecting his debt, Cleon retorts that he "ain't a number's man. I punch people for a living."
The staff become determined to win the prize and avoid Cleon's beating, with some attempting to one-up the other. Guy grows impatient with a bibliophile man who has not ordered a meal since he sat, causing him to relinquish his table to Donnie, whom Rich recently promoted to waiting tables on the spot. Due to his inexperience waiting and his clumsiness, Donnie gets into trouble with a table occupied by British men, and attempts to escape from work out of fear of disappointing Cleon, only to be thwarted by him on the street. Tara then sees a crying Donnie in the cold storage room and tells her he is afraid he will get beat up by Cleon if he finished last. She then uplifts Donnie and offers one of her tables she claims offering a great tip and a good check for him. Meanwhile, Nuts fails to take his medication on time and transforms into his bizarre split personality Zongo, who then force-feeds a cod meal into a customer's mouth while bottomless underneath his apron, causing Cleon to punch him in the gut and fall unconscious. Rich consumes a laxative, successfully defecating the ring.
Guy is frustrated when Donnie outranks him on the scoreboard. He then attempts to sabotage a table Donnie is waiting by fabricating a lie that the Alaskan king crab he recommended had spoiled, causing Donny's customers turn to Guy. Meanwhile, Mia causes a table to puke and bail out after strands of her bloodied hair Guy blew fall in a customer's drink. Tara does not earn a tip from a greedy customer, while Connor gets tipped despite it coming from an estranged TV producer he once worked with.
At closing time, the bibliophile man gives Donnie a $1000 tip; he explains that he is dying of a terminal illness and Donnie was the only waiter content to let him read his copy of War and Peace quietly. After bidding Donnie farewell, however, the man gets rammed by a horse to death. Later, Rich announces the top-seller as Tara, whom Donnie boosted to victory by giving her his huge tip to repay her for her kindness when they were in the cold storage together. Cleon is disappointed at Rich when the staff made only $19,000 the whole night. When Cleon takes the staffs' tips to supply the missing amount, Rich toughens up and confronts Cleon. Cleon then realizes that he only owed 20,000 yen and shares the takings with the staff. Since Guy is the lowest-selling waiter, Cleon beats him before paying the yakuza.

Cast

Staff
Customers
The film premiered at the Slamdance Film Festival on January 17, 2009. It was released to limited theaters in the United States on December 11, 2009. On April 13, 2010, the film was released on DVD and Blu-ray.

Reception

The film has received mostly negative reviews. Rotten Tomatoes reports that 35% of critics gave the film a positive review, based upon a sample of 26, with an average score of 4.9 out of 10. Neil Genzlinger of The New York Times praised Duncan's performance, but noted that many of the jokes in the film are tired and old. Michael O'Sullivan, writing for The Washington Post, noted that the film engages in "lowbrow insults and slapsticky shenanigans" and that its humor "hovers around crotch level."