Cockney Alphabet


The Cockney Alphabet, also known as the Surrealist Alphabet, is a humorous recital of the alphabet, parodying the way the alphabet is taught to small children. The humour comes from forming unexpected words and phrases from the names of the various letters of the alphabet.

Clapham and Dwyer version

In the 1930s, the comedy double act Clapham and Dwyer recorded the following version:

Alternative versions

There are many alternative 'definitions' offered for each letter, some of which include:
Naming a dog "Deefer" is an example of the reverse of this phenomenon, based on interpreting the line D for dog in an everyday alphabet verse as "deefer dog". "Ceefer" as a name for a cat also appeared in Australia after the Second World War influenced by returning servicemen from England who had been exposed to the humour of the Cockney Alphabet.