Calgon
Calgon is an American brand of water softener, and bath and beauty products, the manufacturer owned by the British company Reckitt Benckiser. The original product consisted of powdered sodium hexametaphosphate, which in water would complex with ambient calcium ion and certain other cations, preventing formation of unwanted salts and interference by those cations with the actions of soap or other detergents. Its name was a portmanteau derived from the phrase "calcium gone". Originally promoted for general use in bathing and cleaning, it gave rise to derivative products which have diverged from the original composition. Today, Calgon water softener contains the active ingredient sodium citrate and the now discontinued powder used zeolite and polycarboxylate, all of which are less problematic in wastewater treatment than phosphates.
The Calgon water softener was first introduced to the market in 1933 by Calgon, Inc. of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Calgon, Inc. was acquired by Merck in 1968 and later broken up and sold off. Today, the brand is owned by Reckitt Benckiser for use in Europe as a water softener, and in the United States by Ilex Consumer Products Group as a bath and beauty product.
Companies
The brands have their origin in Calgon, Inc. of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which first put Calgon water softener on the market in 1933. In 1965, Calgon was broken into:- Calgon water softener, sold to Reckitt Benckiser. Calgonit is the brand name of Reckitt Benckiser's dishwasher detergent sold in Continental Europe.
- Calgon bath and beauty products, sold to Coty, Inc., and then acquired by Ascendia Brands on 9 February 2007. Ilex Capital of Annapolis, Maryland purchased the product line and the rights to the name for $4.2 million in 2008. The brand's operations became part of Ilex Consumer Products Group LLC. In 2013, private equity firm Yellow Wood acquired Ilex Consumer Products Group; Calgon is now part of their portfolio company, PDC Brands.
- Calgon Carbon Corporation, acquired by its management in a leveraged buyout in 1985 and taken public in 1987
- Calgon Water Management, sold to English China Clays in June 1993 for $307.5 million
- Calgon Vestal Laboratories, sold to Bristol-Myers Squibb in November 1994 for $261.5 million and then to the Steris Corporation in 1996
Advertisements
"Calgon, take me away!"
This commercial was for Calgon bath and beauty products.In this advertisement, a woman wearing a fluffy pink robe is seen in a chaotic home scenario. As tension rises, she utters the slogan "Calgon, take me away!" The next scene shows her relaxing in a bath in a quiet room.
"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
A set of commercials from the early 70s that ran for many years was for Calgon powdered water softener for laundry. They were set in a Chinese laundry somewhere in Anytown, USA.A Caucasian lady customer at the counter asks "Mr. Lee", "How do you get your shirts so clean?" He puts a finger to his lips and says, with a light Chinese accent, "Ancient Chinese secret."
The scene shifts to Mrs. Lee in the back room, who overhears her husband and says – in a perfectly flat Midwestern accent – "My husband! Some hotshot! Here's his "Ancient Chinese Secret"—Calgon!" Mrs. Lee then praises new formula Calgon, stating that when it is added to rinse water it helps make clothes 30 percent cleaner.
The customer is just about to exit the laundry when Mrs. Lee pops her head around the door frame and calls to her husband, "We need more Calgon!" The customer turns around and challenges Mr. Lee: "'Ancient Chinese Secret,' huh?" Mr. Lee smiles sheepishly.
In other countries
Calgon water softener adverts in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Spain, and in the rest of Europe promote the product solely on the basis of saving washing machines from breakdown rather than any benefits to the clothing in the wash, although the products on sale are identical to those in the United States. The difference is accounted for by the prevalence in Europe of household washing machines with intrinsic heaters, whose elements benefit from the prevention of boiler scale.In Portugal, the Calgon advertisement jingle has been the same popular one for almost 30 years.
In Italy, Calgon was called Calfort from 1965 to spring 2008.
Criticism
In May 2011 a study by Which? magazine demonstrated that there was no evidence to suggest that washing machines lasted longer when treated with Calgon under "normal" washing conditions. Calgon disputes this, however. In October 2011, Dutch TROS TV program Radar also concluded Calgon water softener is not necessary under "normal" washing conditions for Dutch customers.In popular culture
The slogan "Calgon, take me away!" has been referenced in a number of forms of entertainment.- In the Gilmore Girls episode "Lost & Found," Lorelai mutters it under her breath after Luke reveals he escaped from the madness surrounding his nephew Jess by watching hockey in the diner on a TV the size of a toaster.
- "Shake It Off," a 2005 single by recording artist Mariah Carey. The chorus includes the lyric "Just like the Calgon commercial/I really gotta get up outta here/And go somewhere..."
- The L7 song "Diet Pill" contains the line "Calgon can't take me away".
- A 1997 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 featuring the film Space Mutiny. Mike and the Bots parody the name of the character Elijah Kalgan numerous times; for example, saying "Kalgan, blow me away!" after he shoots another character.
- The slogan serves as the inspiration for the Dixie Chicks song "Cowboy Take Me Away".
- In The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode "Bundle of Joy", Geoffrey utters the slogan after being overwhelmed by many different requests from the family in a daydream. He utters the slogan again during the end credits of that episode.
- In the movie "Beerfest" the character Todd Wolfhouse utters the phrase after finding out his grandmother was a prostitute.
- In the 1993 film Wayne's World 2, Wayne is sitting on his girlfriend's bed when they start talking about laundry. Wayne asks how she gets the laundry so clean. Casandra, portrayed by Tia Carrere, says "It's an ancient Chinese secret." Wayne, portrayed by Mike Myers, says, "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?" while looking directly into the camera with a box of Calgon in his hand.
- Saturday Night Live parodied the commercial with Jackie Chan in May 2000. The commercial parody played like the original, except the customer was male and after he said "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?", the husband attacked him and said "You tell anyone the secret, you're a dead man".
- In the Arrested Development episode "Sword of Destiny", Lindsay recommends a Chinese herbal store called Ancient Chinese Secret to her brother, Michael. Michael and Tobias respond, in unison, "Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?"
- Indie band Clem Snide has a song titled "Ancient Chinese Secret Blues." The final lyrics of the song are "Calgon, take me away".
- In an episode of Family Guy, after burning down Mort's pharmacy, Quagmire is stressing out from the guilt to which Peter says "Calgon, take him away!" In the next scene, we see Quagmire relaxing in a bathtub inside a bubble from which he gets up and says to Peter, "This isn't helping it's actually making it worse!" and we just see the bubble float away. They never explain how they get Quagmire down. In a much earlier episode the family visits the United Nations building in New York and Stewie looks on a computer belonging to the Chinese delegation and says "Hidden missile silos behind the Great Wall? Ancient Chinese Secret huh?"
- In the Barenaked Ladies song "Crazy ABC's", from their album Snacktime!, Ed Robertson says that "X is for Xi'an, an ancient Chinese city, true." Steven Page responds, "Ancient Chinese city, huh? My guitar player, some hotshot."
- In the Futurama episode "A Leela of Her Own," the Cygnoid pizza shop owners parody this commercial. When Fishy Joe's owner Joseph Gilman asks how they make the crust of the pizza so fizzy, the Cygnoid husband says, "Uh uh uh, ancient Cygnoid secret!" To which his wife replies, "My husband. Some hotshot! Here's his "Ancient Cygnoid Secret," and she produces a jar of live hornets.
- In Kanye West's song "Gone" from his 2005 Late registration album, Consequence references the product in the fourth verse "And since we used to bubble like a tub full of Calgon"
- Incubus' album S.C.I.E.N.C.E. includes a song entitled "Calgone". It tells of the narrator's worst day ever, including incidents ranging from being pulled over by the police to being abducted by aliens. The lyrics include the phrase "Thank goodness for bathtubs and suds."
- 1997 FPS Shadow Warrior 1 would play a voice clip of Lo Wang saying "Ancient Chinese Secret" - albeit in an actual Chinese Accent, in keeping with the "parodies of Otaku culture and the way East Asia is portrayed in American fiction" element of the franchise's sense of humor - whenever a secret was uncovered.