Baby shower


A baby shower is a party of gift-giving or a ceremony that has different names in different cultures. It celebrates the delivery or expected birth of a child or the transformation of a woman into a mother.

Etymology

The term shower is often assumed to mean that the expectant mother is "showered" with gifts. A related custom, called a bridal shower, may have derived its name from the custom in the 19th century for the presents to be put inside a parasol, which when opened would "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts. Alternatively the term possibly denotes a "first showing" of the new baby to the wider family and circle of friends, although the baby shower is usually held before the birth of the baby.

Description

Traditionally, baby showers are given only for the family's first child, and only women are invited, though this has changed in recent years, now allowing showers being split up for different audiences: workplace, mixed-sex, and feminist. Activities at baby showers include gift-giving and playing themed games.
Baby shower games vary, sometimes including standard games such as bingo, and sometimes being pregnancy-themed, such as "guess the mother's measurements" or "guess the baby". These games help let the close friends attending the shower bond with the mother, and enable the new family to say thanks ahead of time, figuring out who is willing and able to help them with the challenges of bringing up a child.
According to etiquette authority Miss Manners, because the party centers on gift-giving, the baby shower is typically arranged and hosted by a close friend rather than a member of the family, since it is considered rude for families to beg for gifts on behalf of their members. However, this custom varies by culture or region and in some it is expected and customary for a close female family member to host the baby shower, often the baby's maternal grandmother.
When a baby shower is held after the birth of a baby, an invitation to attend the shower may be combined with a baby announcement. In the US, if a baby shower doesn't happen before the arrival of the baby, a sip-and-see party or other similar event can be organized after the birth.

Gifts

Guests bring small gifts for the expectant mother. Typical gifts related to babies include diapers, blankets, baby bottles, clothes, and toys. It is common to open the gifts during the party; sometimes the host will make a game of opening gifts.

Family bonding

The baby shower is a family's first opportunity to gather people together to help play a part in their child's life. The new parents may wish to call on people to assist in the upbringing of their child, and help educate the child over time. People around the family, who care for them, want to be involved in the child's life, and a baby shower presents an opportunity for them to give gifts and be of help, showing their love for the family. If it happens before the birth, it allows the new family to thank everyone before the stress of a new baby and lack of sleep begins.

History

The term "baby shower" is relatively new, but the celebrations and rituals associated with pregnancy and childbirth are both ancient and enduring.
;Ancient India: In India, a pregnancy ritual has been followed since the vedic ages: an event called seemantha, held in the 6th or 8th month. The mother-to-be is showered with dry fruits, sweets and other gifts that help the baby's growth. A musical event to please the baby's ears is the highlight of the ritual, as it was common knowledge that the baby's ears would start functioning within the womb. The ritual prays for a healthy baby and mother, as well as a happy delivery and motherhood.
;Ancient Egypt: In ancient Egypt, rituals relating to the birth of a child took place after the event itself. Quite unlike modern baby showers, this involved the mother and the child being separated to "contain and eliminate the pollution of birth" – this may have included visiting local temples or shrines. After this, there may also have been household rituals that took place, but the specifics have been found hard to study as these are such female-centered events.
;Ancient Greece: The ancient Greeks also celebrated pregnancy after the birth, with a shout after the labor has ended, to indicate that "peace had arrived". Five to seven days later, there is a ceremony called Amphidromia, to indicate that the baby had integrated into the household. In wealthy families, the public dekate ceremony, after ten days, indicated the mother's return to society.
;Medieval Europe: Due to the likelihood a mother would die in childbirth, this time was recognized as having a great risk of spiritual danger in addition to the risk of physical danger. Priests would often visit women during labor so they could confess their sins. After the birth, usually on the same day, a baptism ceremony would take place for the baby. In this ceremony, the godparents would give gifts to the child, including a pair of silver spoons.
;Renaissance Europe: Pregnancies at this time were celebrated with many different kinds of birth gifts: functional items, like wooden trays and bowls, as well as paintings, sculptures, and food. Childbirth was seen as almost mystical, and mothers-to-be were often surrounded with references to the Annunciation by way of encouragement and celebration.
;Victorian Britain and North America: Victorian women would keep their pregnancies secret, upholding cultural standards of proper behavior, but after the baby was born, other women would often hold tea parties for the new mother. Superstitions sometimes led to speculation that a woman might be pregnant, such as two teaspoons being accidentally placed together on a saucer. Gifts were usually hand-made, but the grandmother would give silver.
;Modern North America: The modern baby shower started in the late 1940s and the 1950s, as post-war women were expecting the Baby Boom generation. As in earlier eras, when young women married and were provided with trousseau, the shower served the function of providing the mother and her home with useful material goods.
While continuing the traditions from the 1950s, modern technology has altered the form a baby shower takes: games can include identifying baby parts on a sonogram. Moreover, although traditional baby showers were female-exclusive, mixed-sex showers have increased in frequency.

In different countries

Baby showers and other social events to celebrate an impending or recent birth are popular around the world. They are often women-only social gatherings.
Some baby showers are directed at fathers. These may be more oriented towards drinking beer, watching sports, fishing, or playing video games. The primary nature of these gifts is diapers and/or diaper-related items. The organization of the diaper party is typically done by the friends of the father-to-be as a way of helping to prepare for the coming child. These parties may be held at local pubs/bars, a friend's house, or the soon-to-be grandfather's house. In the United Kingdom, this is called wetting the baby's head, and is generally more common than baby showers. Wetting the baby's head is traditionally when the father celebrates the birth by having a few drinks and getting drunk with a group of friends.
There has been some controversy over these, with Judith Martin calling them a "monstrous imposition", although she was referring to the attitude of demanding gifts and not necessarily the male version of a baby shower.
In Hungary, such an event is called Milking party held by tradition in favor of the mother to be blessed with breast milk for the newborn. Practically it is the last day-off of the father for some time as he is expected to stay home to help. No similar domestic custom exists for mothers, such as a baby shower. Gifts for the baby are given on the first visit to his/her home. This due to health concerns happens at the appropriate and suitable time for each counterpart.

Names for events